Helping Our Children Handle the Bully

The Gates Parenting Support is one that places a high regard for parenting example. When a parent becomes aware that their child is being the object of bullying or actually being the bully our parents look at how they handle their own situations first. For those who are new to terms such as bullying and wondering how to connect that to their everyday life and their child's life , I will give you my understanding of bully.
A bully is a type of personality that desires control. To obtain this control it offers it's victims admiration and then at the most surprising times will pull from it's victim all admiration , unless the victim complies with it's demands.
At first the victim refuses but as the desire for admiration enlarges the desire to not comply with it's demands lessens.
A person can be bullied into wearing the same kind of clothes as everyone else at an event. A person can be bullied into only having the same opinion as everyone else at their table. A person can be bullied into a life style that they would not chose if their desire for admiration was not so great.
The Gates parent does not want to control their children with admiration. As parents our goal is to let our children know they are admired by us no matter what choice they make. We try to offer them choices daily so that they will have that ability . At the same time knowing whatever choice they make they will still be loved and admired by the parent.
Will all choices be ones that the child is glad they made? Probably not. Then it is important for the Gates parent to not step in and interfere with the consequences of their child's choice making.
If you can think of a time when you encouraged your child to make a choice based on how admired he would be for that choice, perhaps you would like to stop doing that now.
If you can think of a time recently that you stepped in and helped your child avoid a natural consequence you are not alone. If you can see how valuable it would be for your child if you could stop doing that and desire support please join us at the Gates Parenting Support Group.

Psalms 23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.